Finding My Place ~

For a long time, I believed that finding my place meant arriving somewhere; - physically, emotionally, spiritually - and knowing, without question, that I belonged. I imagined it like a clearing in the forest: open, obvious, and waiting for me to step into it.

But that hasn’t been my experience.

Even now, I don’t really know where I am meant to be physically. I’m between places, between decisions, between versions of what “home” might look like. I do know that home is California; but could Montana have a place I could call home for a couple of months out of the year? Then there are moments when that uncertainty feels expansive and hopeful. And there are moments when it makes me question my worth; when not being settled feels too close to not being enough.

Nature continues to meet me in that uncertainty.

In the wild, not everything knows where it will land. Seeds are carried by wind, water, animals; some fall into fertile ground, others rest until conditions change. Their worth isn’t diminished by waiting. They are not less because they haven’t rooted yet. They are simply in process.

I forget that sometimes.

I’ve spent years measuring my value by stability; by permanence, productivity, and clarity. When I don’t know where I’m going - that space of flux, existing within a fog -  I start to wonder if I should be going anywhere at all. Doubt creeps in quietly, asking whether my uncertainty reflects a deeper flaw.

And yet, something in me keeps pushing back.

Writing on juliemlane.com has become a way of staying present in the not-knowing. I don’t write from certainty; I write from honesty. Each post is a small act of claiming space even when I’m unsure of where that space ultimately is. It’s a way of saying: “I’m here, even if I don’t yet know where here leads.”

I see this same spirit reflected in spaces like @redeem_thyself and @7_pedals; gentle reminders that worth is not dependent on arrival. Growth doesn’t require a final destination. Redemption isn’t about becoming someone else; it’s about remembering who you were before doubt took hold. Yet, for me, that doubt has always been present. There was “before.”

Listening to stories shared through Redeeming Stories - both on the podcast and through the community - has helped normalize this in-between place. Others are searching, too. Others are questioning. Others are learning to trust themselves even when the map is unclear.

I am learning - slowly - to envision myself not as unfinished or lacking, but as inherently worthy, even in motion. Even without answers. Like a river that hasn’t yet reached the sea, I am still exactly what I’m meant to be right now.

Finding my place, I’m discovering, may not mean knowing where I’ll land.
It may simply mean trusting that wherever I am standing today is enough.

And that I am enough to stand there.

If you find yourself in a season of not knowing—uncertain of where you belong or questioning your own worth—perhaps this is not a failure of direction, but a pause meant for listening.

Maybe your place is still forming beneath your feet. Maybe your worth does not need proof.

If you feel inclined, I invite you to sit with these questions for a moment: Where am I being asked to stand right now? What would it feel like to believe I am enough, even here?

You’re welcome to share your reflections, or simply hold them quietly. Some truths take time to root.

~ julie

If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.

Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.