Introvert ~
I am an introvert. Whether the trauma I experience deepened my introvertedness…if that is a word…I will never know. I do know that my dad and his mother were very quiet and reserved people. By no means were they socialites. I am not a social person either. When I think back to those times in life when being social was the cool thing, I really was not. I did not party in high school, go out dancing, or have a big party when I turned 21. I have always preferred a small group of friends and to be in the company of just one or two people at a time.
I came across an article by Ethan Sterling in my newsfeed that really reflected who I am when it comes to being an introvert. Sterling is a writer who draws on entrepreneurial experience to deliver psychology-backed, practical advice. In his article 9 quirky habits of introverts that people tend to misunderstand, he shares that he is an introvert as well. And that may be why I cannot find much information or even a website with his bio. Regardless, these 9 quirky habits are those that I value as well.
Solitude is bliss: I love my independence, something my grandmother reflected in her life; climbing on to her roof at the age of 90 to fix something. For me, getting out of the house each day is important. I go and sit in a coffee shop and write. My informal and casual engagement with people each day is minimal and that is all I need for the day.
Deep conversations over small talk: Yep, that is me. I am not one to chitchat. I am polite, greet people on the street with a “good morning” or “hello.” I was not one to sit around with new mothers and talk about changing diapers or how many times the baby got me up at night. I will never be the grandma that sits in her rocker and knits while the neighbors stop by to talk. Deep conversations engage me; stimulate my brain; bring about reflections, questions, ponderings, and inform my thinking.
Observant by nature: I love to people-watch. I enjoy watching people work; especially those who work in the construction industry; really anything that is mechanical. I learn by watching. As an educator, I have learned the value of watching behavior. Every behavior in our daily lives is done for a reason; there is a story behind it. I listen to behaviors even when there is no sound. Behaviors are interesting to me and have helped me understand the needs of my students and even their parents.
Value quality over quantity in relationships: Actually, I value this in every aspect of my life. Yes, I have a very small friend group; those close friends that you can tell anything. I value business relationships that are deep and rich. When it comes to materialism, I am the same way. I do not need much, but what I have is of quality. Quality home, quality car that will pull my tiny home and transport my harp, quality clothes, and so forth. I can only afford to do this because I do not need much. I just need what I have to be of quality.
Need for personal space: Back when I was doing my doctoral work at Pepperdine University, I took one of those personality/strengths assessments. I forget the name of it. But one of the results is that people should not enter within a 6 foot space of me unless asked to do so. I chuckled at that result because it really is me. Now, I would not say 6 feet, but I am very protective of my space. I do believe this is a result of the abuse. Asking for a hug is important to me, but once I say yes, you really need to ask again.
Also, my car and my house are my avenue of escape. When I am triggered, I often want to jump in my car and just drive. It is my way of getting away; of feeling safe. When someone says, “Hey, let’s carpool,” I always find a reason why I need to drive myself. If you want to ride with me, then I have to know you really well, feel comfortable with you in my space, and know that I won’t have an urge to push you out of the car when it comes to a stop. My house is much the same. I do not like house guests other than my daughters and their families.
Since this blog is getting rather long, I am going to wait and chat about the other four quirky habits that Sterling points out next week. I will hold you in suspense. 🙂
Until next week ~ julie
If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.
Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.