It’s one of those days ~
Today is a day that I want to be a couch potato. I have a dry eye condition that seems to be getting progressively more sensitive to light. I am tired today. I just want to curl up in my house that is rather empty since I have moved everything out in anticipation of getting the house sold. I have the bare minimum which means I have no distractions and can focus on the work for which I am most passionate.
I ran a few errands this morning. I spoiled myself by getting a pedi, In-N-Out, and then Baskin Robbins triple scoop chocolate chip. What more could a girl want? I’m in my favorite chair watching my pups, now 15 months old, play with one another with a pull toy. It’s 90 some degrees outside and the sun is shining brightly. My shades are closed, as they usually are, and my curtains are open just enough to let in a little bit of light while being able to have enough room to let the dogs out, when needed. The air conditioning is running, and I just want to do nothing today, but do I? Where is the line when it comes to a day just being one of those days and being in a mindset that I should overcome? These are two questions I ask myself when I come upon one of these days.
The article Procrastination: An Emotional Struggle, published in 2019, discusses the differences between procrastination versus the conscious decision to rest. Procrastination is often deeply rooted in the emotional struggles of fear, shame, and perfectionism. If I give myself time to simply rest, I can break the cycle of procrastination. I do not think of myself as a procrastinator though, but maybe I am??
Rest can be restorative, but if I use it to avoid uncomfortable feelings - feelings associated with the tasks I want to accomplish - then that is not healthy. So, am I lazy? Well, the article goes on to share that calling myself lazy is negative self-talk. Rather, I have to allow myself that time to rest. Rest is restorative. For me, rest is also filled with guilt. I feel guilty when I am just a couch potato for the day. The article then introduces this concept of intentional rest.
Intentional rest is planned and purposeful. My problem, I think, is that I never schedule rest time. “Why do I feel guilty for resting?” How to beat rest-guilt was published in 2024. It discusses how we are culturally conditioned to keep busy and productive. Yet, rest is vital for creativity and cognitive function. I can agree with this, as I just go, go, go. I have been driven much of my life. I seldom slow down, and I am fine with that. I like living life and taking advantage of every minute. Scheduling rest time is simply foreign to me. As I get older, I know that I will need this time. So, what would intentional rest look like for me if it is planned and purposeful? My rest time still needs boundaries and intention. It must be done without guilt. Ha! That is the hard part.
Overcoming guilt and recognizing my own needs of self-care is a road I have yet to travel. I need to see rest as restoring and regenerating rather than failure to be productive. I think this topic needs a deep dive with my therapist to guide me.
For now, I am going to sit with myself and rest and see if I can overcome the guilt in doing so.
Resting ~ julie
If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.
Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.