Living for Me ~

This week in therapy has been heavy. We have been revisiting trauma that we processed through EMDR and DBT in earlier sessions. The terrain feels familiar, yet something has shifted. I am beginning to feel again; the numbness that once protected me is lifting, and some triggers now feel stronger than they did in earlier seasons.

One of the deepest wounds reaches back to my brother. He taught me early that I would never be desirable, never worthy of another, and that my needs carried no importance. When a message repeats itself for years, it does not stay in the mind. It settles into the body and becomes the ground beneath your feet.

So I learned to live for others. I became useful. Quiet. Accommodating. I shaped my days around what others needed because that felt safer than honoring what I needed.

But this week, I have been practicing a new sentence:

“I am doing this for myself.”

Embrace Authenticity and Live Your True Self(2023) explains that living authentically means expressing your true self rather than the version others expect. Authenticity is closely tied to self-worth and freedom. What Does it Mean to Live Authentically?(2025) explains that authenticity involves aligning your actions with your values and listening to your own needs, even when fear or doubt appears.

So I am practicing small acts of living for myself.

I go to bed for myself.

I rise in the morning for myself.

I go for a walk for myself.

I embrace myself for myself.

I lose weight for myself.

I fill my days with what I love for myself.

I stop along the road and take in the view for myself.

I have to put myself first. We all know this is the only way to live the life we are called to live. And if we do not live life first, how do we share our lives with others; how do we give parts of our lives to others; how do we know if we are leading a healthy life?

Nature never apologizes for its existence. A river follows its course. A mountain stands in its shape. A meadow blooms because blooming is its nature.

Maybe I am allowed the same.

This is my life.And I am learning, slowly, that I am allowed to live it for myself.

~ julie

If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.

Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.