Ready, Set…WAIT!!
It has been and continues to be an interesting journey to discover myself for the first time. There is no one in my life that is telling me who I should be or threatening me to conform in my daily living. I can be whoever I want to be. I am slowly moving through this part of my journey toward self-love and healing. Who am I? I would think most people who are as old as I am have figured out much of what I am still trying to untangle and discover. Just when I think I have arrived at a destination point in my journey, I come to realize I am still not there. I can compare it to my passion for hiking in the mountains. At some point, I start to think “am I there yet?” With each twist and turn of the trail, I anticipate my arrival at the given point. With each anticipation, I realize I am still not there. I have to keep taking in the beauty of my surroundings with each step while not feeling too disappointed that I have not yet arrived. Yesterday, I had a sudden burst of joy that came from within.
My house has been on the market since the first of the year. Yesterday, the last “open house” was held. Again, no offers. I have come to realize, due to a few different factors including the economy, I need to wait. I am not going to simply sell to sell. In turn, I am struggling with the feeling of being stuck. I cannot leave. I am trapped here. My last husband followed me from Montana down to Reno. That makes me anxious. Then why the joy?
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been pondering if rather than selling, I will lease my home for the next couple of years. I knew that if the “open house” did not provide an offer, I would lease my home. And after the “open house,” I felt joy. I can leave. I can move. I can lease my house and be free. But, WAIT!! I first have to find a tenant. This rush of joy and happiness affirmed that I am stepping in the right direction. I will not get to my destination as quickly as I would like - my tiny home on wheels - but I am still walking the journey, the trail that will lead me to that point. So, as I lease the house for the next couple of years, I need to take in my surroundings. I do not see this step as stopping, but rather giving me the time and space I need to discover more about myself, to devote more time to my purpose, and to simply explore; inside and out.
I will Airbnb it for the next couple of years. Travel to the 11 states I have not yet explored. Spend time writing, connecting with followers, creating content, arranging and recording my music, and strengthening my voice. I still need to get “ready and set.” I will wait, but while I am waiting there is much to get done.
It’s a time of waiting ~ julie
If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.
Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.