Taking Up Space ~
I am home.
Back in California. Back in the western Sierras. Back in the Airbnb tiny home that feels like an exhale. The floors settle in familiar ways; the air feels softer; the light through these windows feels calm. My body is finally beginning to relax again.
The biggest takeaway from therapy this time was simple, yet enormous:
I am allowed to take up space.
I do not mean as just an idea or the concept of the physical space. I mean in the small moments of everyday life: the freedom to pull over at the side of the road and reflect on the incredible view in front of me; the right to stand in line at the market without shrinking my shoulders; the truth that my presence matters and ease is not something I must earn. This concept was too challenging for my last husband to understand, and I ponder whether those prior would have understood either.
An article from Greater Good Magazine affirms that taking up space, asserting boundaries and claiming needs is not selfish, but essential to emotional health and self-worth. It is about self love; and the article explains how presence, even in quiet moments, becomes a practice of valuing yourself.
Another from Mindful.org supports the idea of simply allowing yourself to exist fully in your body and life. Life without apology. The simple right to exist is a foundational stone to peace and healing. Mindfulness isn’t about escaping life; it’s about attending to it with attention and care.
This lesson was tested immediately. I got stuck in Reno for three days because of the heavy snowstorm moving through the Sierra Nevada Mountains this past week. Roads closed; appointments canceled; plans undone. Reno is no longer a safe place for me. Being there felt like stepping into an old memory my body still remembers too well. I was exhausted, not just from travel but from holding myself steady in a space that no longer fits who I am becoming.
And still; I reminded myself that I am allowed to take up space there, too; resting when needed, not rushing out of discomfort, letting the storm pass.
Now that I am home, the hard work begins again: journaling, reflecting, practicing what I learned, and acting as if the peace I feel is not a visitor, but a resident in me.
Nature shows me this every day. Snow falls, not asking permission. Mountains stand exactly where they are. Rivers do not apologize for flowing, bending, and cutting a new path forward.
Taking up space does not mean pushing others aside. It means not pushing myself aside anymore.
And now the hard work begins.
~ julie
If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.
Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.