Time to Shift ~
Hello! Well, I made it up to Montana and am staying in the same Airbnb that I enjoy. I have spent this last week in therapy talking about why I am stuck, how I can move forward, and reprocessing what was. It is exhausting work, but I find the journey incredibly rewarding. The focus on my two weeks here is about getting unstuck. Unstuck would mean letting go, moving forward, losing weight, and changing my perseverance on thoughts of the past and focusing on the dreams and visions of tomorrow.
So, what is the inner child? The Verywell Mind article Inner Child Work: How Your Past Shapes Your Present explains how reconnecting with your inner child can help heal emotional wounds from childhood. It emphasizes that past experiences—especially painful or neglectful ones—can affect adult emotions, relationships, and self-worth. Inner child work involves acknowledging those wounds and offering yourself the love, care, and validation you may not have received growing up. Techniques like journaling, visualization, play, and self-compassion are suggested as ways to begin healing. The article also highlights therapy approaches like Internal Family Systems and psychodynamic therapy, which support this work. The goal is not to dwell in the past but to help you live with more emotional clarity and self-acceptance today.
I have been working to nurture the inner child that was never nurtured. I have been working to affirm how my inner child feels. And, I am working to remind her that I can keep her safe; that we do not have to return to that way of living; that we do not need to engage with abusers. We are safe now. So, as I have been going for walks this week, I have been cognitively encouraging her to walk with me; to walk in me instead of behind me. Just like I encourage my pups when they stop to smell the fence post or to respond to the dog that is walking by. I hear myself saying, “come,” “come on,” “let’s go” not only to my pups, but to that inner child. Her walking behind me is what is holding me back in moving forward.
Then, this morning, it dawned on me that it is not only my inner child that needs to be encouraged, it is my inner teenager, my inner twenty something, thirty something, forty something, fifty something, and now sixty something that needs that encouragement. It is as if I need to repeat this process, almost simultaneously, with every relationship I have had during my adult life; with every abuser; every career; every accomplishment; every setback; every success. I need to go back and engage with each role I have had during my teenage and adult life. It is the weight of those roles that keep me from being free.
Not only do I need to help those parts of me forward, I need to stop constantly thinking about what was. I need to use most of my head space for all that lies ahead. It is as if I need to compartmentalize the pas, and use my long walks every day, and each time I get stuck or triggered to allow the past to be remembered while doing the self-talk to move beyond the stuckness; the trigger. The rest of my time, I need to fully focus on the path ahead; as a mom, grandmother, educator, harpist, and building a place for others who have experienced trauma and abuse.
Time to shift. Save the space to reprocess, desensitize, encourage, and heal. Then, the rest of the hours of the day need to be about the future. Move my negative thoughts, heavy thoughts of the past to a place where I can go when it is time to work on healing. Move my positive thoughts, my dreams, my visions, my passions to the forefront. Those need to capitalize my days.
Looking forward to another week in Montana ~ julie
If you feel so inclined, please reply with your thoughts.
Note: JM Lane is NOT a mental health professional, nor does she carry a license to practice medicine. Posts, blogs, and content are based on JM Lane’s personal experiences, perceptions, and reflections. By no means does any material convey what others should or should not do.